I’ve no other outlets to place these thoughts so I might as well let it out with a handful of words. Have you ever felt like the world’s out there to squeeze you tight as you turn motionless and seemingly blue? That sensation of your breath losing its senses as it distances away from your system.
I know it’s kind of shallow to think that the person you seek to be with your whole lifetime turns out to be someone who’s going to wreck your fantasies as he slowly distance himself from you. Yeah, it cuts deep through down my soul. But he’s everything I’ve got to complete my puzzle game and I couldn’t risk to lose him.
He was never mine in the first place, though. I’ll never have the right to be greedy of his love for I am nothing but a speck of dust at this state.
Telling the whole story might be too long so I’ll cut this a bit short. We were good in the first place. He made me happy and enter a euphoric state filled with good thoughts. We shared memories, thoughts, and emotional breakdowns together. We were each other’s shoulder to cry on. Each moment spent on the clock was indeed impeccable.
Oh, have I mentioned that I ruined myself too at that time when I was slowly falling deep to the pit?
A month or two passed. Conflicts peeked on to his life. Everything garbage was thrown on to him. Everything went bad—to the point that I slowly became a ghost to his senses. I felt like I was gone—and that made me fall apart. Shattered to glass pieces and bursted into smoke. I was nothing at all.
I’m letting these words out for I miss him terribly. I need his presence once again. I want our eyes to meet once more. But I guess I’ve lost all my chances. For now, all I wish for is his well-being. Hope he stays sane and be able to draw a smile again on his face.
I’ll still be here, longing and waiting for you. Even if it means I have to spend a lifetime.