How do I love you this time?
Categories Waiting

How do I love you this time?

How stupid it is to think that after how many years, I still assumed that you will still show me the same interest, the same effort, the same love, the same affection and all. I feel so humiliated to myself that I was still trying to rekindle what was unsaved and rejected 10 years ago.

Why is it that I always end up loving you at the most impossible time of our lives? You came to my life before when I was broken like hell, when I doubted love and men for it ruined me too bad. And then now that I cannot be with you anymore, I feel like I miss you more than ever.

I felt like every day when I wake up, I want to see some chat from you that would make me feel better the entire day. Maybe I was longing for love and attention that I may not be experiencing today. The way you treated me before was the one I was looking for. I know things have changed, and a lot had happened to us. We matured as different persons now.

You may think that I ignored you before, but God knows I had loved you in the most possible way I can, because I was afraid before and not brave enough to face things with you. I just canโ€™t commit that time for I am afraid to hurt you. You are so kind and gentle and you donโ€™t deserve to be treated less. You deserve more.

Thank you for everything. Thank for being a good man to me. Thank for all the memories. Sorry if once in your life I caused you pain and rejection. I wish you all the best and happiness you deserve! I wonโ€™t bother you anymore. But always keep in mind that I always care for you. Stay safe. Thank you for the short time that you communicated again to me thru chat. God bless you and you will remain valued in my heart!