If God were to really have a hand on each of our love stories, how should it really look like and how are we to position ourselves? There has been a long debate on the thing. People saying, “nah, it should be courtship,” or “go on dating first,” but how can we really tell who is “the one”?
There is not much focus yet on the practicals, but we will more on discuss what our spiritual position should be, and what should be our heart’s disposition. This will come in parts, discussing on the role of a man and a woman, separately. There are a lot of love stories in the Bible, and quite a handful of them are not very ideal, so we will discuss a love story, which is technically not yet hampered by sin. In the book of beginnings, Genesis, starting of with the second chapter.
Well, not being a sexist, but the Man was created first so let us discuss that first. First thing’s first, let us be chronological in the order of things. “God took the Man and set him down in the Garden of Eden to work the ground and keep it in order.” Genesis 2:15. Before God even gave the idea that Adam was to have a partner, He gave him one thing first: A job. A task. A purpose. He was to take care of the garden and keep it in order. So only by the time that a man figures out his purpose, only then can he consider taking a wife. And take note that WHILE doing what he was meant to do, it is by then that God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.” (Gen 2:18)
And how did He pull that off? Since God respects the free-will He gave us, He let Adam start off with his options (Gen 2:19-20). But of course, God knows the best for him is not among the options. It is in my opinion that God let Adam roam around to choose, for him to realize how good, the best He has in mind is. Next thing we know is, “God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh” (Gen 2:21). Pastor Judah Smith calls this the “spiritual sleep” when it comes to romantic love. Which is why repeatedly in the book Song of Solomon you will read, “Do not awaken love, until it so desires.” Which we really shouldn’t when it is not yet the time for it. God knows when it should happen, and as cliche goes, His timing is ALWAYS perfect. Just like when Adam finally wakes up from his sleep, lo and behold, a beautiful creature is already beside him. And she was called the woman. (For the first thing he said when he saw her was, “WOAH-man!” LoL. But kidding aside, read Genesis 2:23-25 😂)
So with this, how do you find “the one” woman you were supposed to be with? I always just have one tip for it, “Be the right person.” Be that man hand-crafted, breathe-into-life by God. As a man, you’re gonna have to figure out your purpose first and be consumed with the passion for it. Be busy with it. But ultimately with one intention in mind: to give God glory. Along with it, you’re gonna have to know your goals, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Only then will you figure out the kind of woman that you NEED. God Himself has said, it is better if you have one, and as the Proverb goes, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” And while in your sleep, trust that God is molding that woman He had in mind for you. And know that this woman won’t just be any woman, He is the kind of woman who will help you fulfill your purpose, as she will encourage your strengths, stand with you on your weakest, remind you how much you are worth as she gives you her utmost respect. Just like Adam, God Himself will be the one to deliver THAT woman beside you.