I Am Worthy.

These days, the universe gave me so much to think about. My emotions and passion was entangling between my dreams and career, with this inner me who always think as a less worthy.

I love what I am doing right now, but sadly a little insensitive words came from society gets me in trouble questioning about my individuality. I heard so much cruelty and judgement pertaining to me, and I got depressed.

Sadly, I learned my lessons in a hard way in just a matter of time. And my roller coaster ride of emotions and over thinking thought me so many things about the power of positivity.

Embracing my emotions gives me the power to translate the loneliness into words.

Perhaps, I should go distance myself from people who define me as pitiful. I need to detach myself from people who are saying that I can’t. I probably should not trust people easily, particularly when it comes to my emotions and secrets.

I’ve got so tired for explaining myself behind those social judgements especially from the people who I’ve thought my loyal company.

Thus, detaching myself from the old company with the new mindset, gives me the opportunity to explore places and to self reflect.

In past years, I had gone true a lot of frustrations and regrets. Underhandedly, upon my exploring I met different people with contrasting personality; a person choose to ignore his feelings and continue to be a happy pill , a person with the broken heart, and a person with depression ; and myself as a less worthy.

Maybe, I met these certain people while being the wanderer on my own journey because I need them. Perhaps, I was intended to be on their journey too and surprisingly those people are not perfect not even closed but they had so much of strength as I am. Inspiringly, they never get tired from all closed doors instead its fueling their passion.

And now, let me share to you my list of Integral Mindset to live out of depression from the toxic society..

1.   Having a new mindset is literally positive but in reality people can defined us to whatever they wanted us to be. People always see the results but not the true intentions.

2.  I woke up today, saying to myself that I was not worthy for them, but I am thousand more worthy for myself. All of these are just a matter of acceptance.

3.  Keep our faith to ourselves. People who surround us are either love you or hate you. Not all people who would ask what your emotions are, is genuine.

4.  I shouldn’t have ruined my entirety by trusting someone who define me as less worthy.

5.  My pain and sensitivity doesn’t need any explanation to anybody. I hurt when I felt to, I cry when I felt to, and people should know that my emotions are valid too.

6.     I should embrace my individuality. And continue to work on to keep my inner peace and putting aside any insecurity. I have to focus on whatever I wanted to be. Yes, indeed I maybe messed up today, but still tomorrow is another day.

7.     I maybe lacking in some ways, but surely they were also. Not all things that they said to me were indeed true.

8.     I must count and enumerate my blessings, and not the negativity they constructed. Always trust to GOD and don’t forget to be thankful. 

9.     Choose to walk away from people who define you as miserable, co’z you are not. .

10.  I choose to grow myself from the distance; I don’t need to look at them, it will not serve my inner peace. Co’z, surely they will come to see me if they already blocked by the tall grass I planted.

11.  You maybe the wild grass on the summer time, but you will continue to expand and grow someday, with matter of time and sunlight.

12. One of the most important trick is always to try everything. Collect your first time memories and embraced the lessons. You will eventually determine the differences of  the good and the bad.

13. And the last, lucky are those people who has loyal support system. But sadly, not all are lucky. So, I should learn to be my own back up, and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

-H A N S Y. P A T O O T S Y .