I didn’t lose you, you lost the chance to love me

I know that it really hurts to love someone like you. It was a thrilling emotion inside. I knew it from the start, yet I still chose to feel it for you anyway. I used to initiate all our conversations. I used to call you first. I used to show you all of my attention. I used to make you feel that I really adore you and that you are special to me. But one day, I came to my senses and thought to myself, “Is this making any sense?” I guess it doesn’t. Because every time I show you how much you mean to me, nothing goes back. It pricks my heart. It makes me question my worth. It makes me think that I am not enough. And yes, for you I am not.

And finally, I made the decision to stop. I stopped calling you. I stopped sending you messages. I stopped looking at you. I stopped hoping that one day, you’ll also look at me. Easier said than done. But I managed to overcome my feelings. I shifted my gaze that used to point in your direction. I made the decision to grow on my own. I chose to admire the beauty of life. I chose to be happy, even if it no longer includes you. I chose myself because after all, I deserve the love that I always give.

I didn’t lose you, you lost the chance to love me. It may fill my heart with sorrow for awhile; but in the end, I know that I would gain the love that I have always wanted. I accepted the fact that my feelings for you would never work out. And because of that, I have realized many things. You lost someone who showed you genuine love. You lost someone who was consistent of you, but now tired of loving you. You lost someone who would always want to be with you. You lost someone who was sure of you and was willing to stay no matter what. Now that I am in the process of moving on, the fact remains that you’ve lost me.