I got too excited.

I came to a point in my life that it’s okay to me to be single forever because I’m simply enjoying my season of singleness as I serve God and other people. Not being conscious of age and not being affected by the pressure of being with someone.

But then you came and suddenly my heart started to beat again. I felt like I woke up from a deep sleep. All of a sudden, my perspective changed. What happened?! I somehow became conscious about my age because of the age gap between us.
There’s this excitement in me to pursue you. I am willing to do what it takes to win your heart. I found a treasure! Worth waiting for, worth pursuing.
But then God told me to “Wait“. My initial reaction was, “Wait again? I already waited for almost a decade!” But of course, God has better plans. I trust Him anyway.

While waiting, I want to know you as a friend and I also want you to know me. As a result, I think I got too excited. We chatted almost everyday. Talking about anything under the sun. Little by little, I am starting to know you deeper and getting more emotionally attached. There’s this desire in me to converse with you in person. To know what it’s like to be with you. I admit that there are times that I intentionally makes a way just to see you. I’m holding on to the fact that unless I don’t mention anything about my feelings, you will just see it as normal. But when I talked to someone close to you, I realized that my actions were making you confused.

I’m sorry for making it hard for you. I don’t know if it’s okay now to lay down my intentions, knowing that you’re still enjoying your singleness. I felt that I will be selfish to do that. I’m sorry for my actions that makes you think. I probably should have been more careful and self-controlled. My excitement to know you more clouded my thinking. I’m sorry.

I got too excited but I’m trying to be more careful now until God says it’s time to pursue you.