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I know there is no chance for me to tell you about this, I just want you to know that you make me feel so happy when we talk or when we chat. It’s so funny that I can’t get enough of you, I can’t stop smiling. The thought of you, that small and deep talks that we had, even just a picture of you it makes me smile. I am certain that most men will be drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and that independent personality that you have. Maybe you’re not aware of it but you’re the woman that every man wants to end up with, a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul.
I really want to know more of you. I want to know what you love and what you hate. I want to know your frustrations and what makes you frustrated. I want to know what disappoints you and your disappointments. I really want you to share things that happened to you every day. I also want to know your flaws, doubts, fears, bad habits, darkest secrets, anything. Basically I just want you to share everything and anything you can think of, it doesn’t matter how good or bad it is, I just want to more of you and have more time with you, from there I will get to know you better.
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But day by day I feel like I am being drawn towards you, it feels like you become part of my life and it affects everything about me, the way I think, my work and my day to day. It feels like, everything I do, I do it to please you and It is frustrating that i don’t feel appreciated. It’s frustrating to let a day pass without a chit chat with you. I keep chasing you, pushed myself forward and end-up drowning myself with frustration and disappointment. It’s exhausting. I thought you considered me as someone special and I feel so entitled. But this is just a thought that could never happen. Then reality hit me up so hard and wakes me up from my fantasy. Maybe we’re just on the same story. Maybe we’re just meant to be on the same story as normal characters just to complete someone’s story, and not as the main characters of a fantasy. Maybe there are other reason. But one thing is for sure, it’s for the better.
But stubbornness is in my blood and backing down is not my thing. So for now I will stop chasing you, not because I stopped wanting you, but because I need to realign my priorities and purpose in life. I stopped chasing you not because I give up, but because I need to focus on growing myself personally and spiritually. I stopped chasing you not because I hate you, but because I am not at my best, so I am doing my best to be the best version I can be for myself and for you, worthy of pursuing you. I know it will take time for me to be there, but I know it will happen. So when that time comes I hope you’re still there waiting for the man of your life. I am not saying that I am the right man, but I am hoping. I’ll do my best to be that right man and take you to the moon and hand over the stars of this life. Anyway if we are meant to be together, it isn’t up to me. It’s up to Him.