It was and will always be a mistake.


It was this time of the month last year when it started. The friendship that went beyond the borders of hi’s and hello’s which confused both of us. I didn’t know how to to respond back then because I was so scared that everything was a mistake. Well now, I know every thing was a MISTAKE. At first, I was hopeful that you will have the guts to tell me what I think you felt back then. I was wishing you would say “hey, this is not some convenience for me” or I like you and I was hoping you like me too because definitely I would say I felt the same way. But then, I felt there was something wrong, from hiding instagrams stories, to hding messages, to leaving me so early in the morning with no texts nor calls. You were right. I was emotionally invested and you were not yet there. You broke me into pieces, at the expense of my work, and everythingI ever built. I almost ended myself in the process. As time passed by, I realized, why not for a second did I initiate asking even if all my friends told be to. Why didn’t I not bother to put a label to this? Why?

And then I realized, I didn’t that hug when I asked you to. I didn’t get that hug whenever we are together. I didn’t feel you are really into me. I didn’t get that hug when I begged for you to choose me. You will never choose me because I know. because I know you too well.

And even if I replay every single thing that happen, I know in the end, you will never choose me.