Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
I found you in a very unexpected time, in an unusual place. We were almost the perfect fit, we complement each other. Our relationship is an example that couples should not only be a romantic couple but life partnership was should also be present. We’ve been through each milestones, rough times and breakthroughs. You and I kept holding on and we were inseparable. We are already starting to build our future, talking about building a home. We we’re the happiest I believe.
But there’s this one challenge that kept us from being together, we are the same-gender. The society, our families and even the church were against us. For 2 years I have fought for this relationship, I held on, I even bargain that I can still be an obedient christian even if we are in a relationship. I remember enduring endless discussion with my family about us because I want to fight for you, because I want you to be part of my family.
Still, they kept instilling the truth that we really can never be together because we are of the same-gender and it’s not pleasing and right in the Lord and that even if I continue our relationship, My soul won’t escape the verdict during the time of judgement someday. Obedience to Christ and having in a same-gender relationship can never reconcile. I got counselled that my concept of love at this point was out of context.
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Months and weeks, then I came to realization. Something happened inside of me that validates that truth but then, since I have loved you to much I still kept bargaining, retaliating but It will never change the truth. With a heavy broken heart, I ended our relationship. Believe me, it’s the hardest break up for me, It was a real tough decision between temporal and eternal.
I have loved you too much to let you go, but I did and I am sorry if I have to let you go, I am sorry if I broke your heart. I ended the relationship not because I no longer love you but I ended it because I no longer want to hurt you in the long run. I don’t want to give you hard time with this person whose struggling with her inner self as well. I let go because because of my faith and acknowledged that my obedience to Christ cannot reconcile with me having in the same-gender relationship.
You see love, It’s been more than a month since I let go. I know that you are starting to move on. On my end, It’s still tough, still it hurts me because you’re all i ever wanted, all the characteristics that I am looking for, I found in you. I still have so many questions in my mind.Why and so many Whys. I still cry, I still breakdown and I am still processing what happened.
I know we agreed that we can still be friends and I am starting to accept the truth that we can only be friends and I can just love you as a friend. To be honest, I don’t know how will I feel if the time comes that you found another better than me but I guess, it’s just acceptance on my end. I want you to be happy, even without me. Even though, we’re no longer together and we had our separate ways, I would still be here as a friend. I treasured all that we had in my heart. You may never be my first love but you’ve became my one true love. The Lord may not allow us to be together in a romantic relationship but still, it’s a blessing that we were able to keep each other as a friend.
But for one last time, I want to let you know, I loved you so much from the moon and back, my favorite barista.
Your favorite teacher.