I did not mean to build my standards,
My painful surrender affects that.

I want to take the risk to try again,
But my heart and mind won’t allow it.
I’m still scared and afraid.

I want to show you that you mean a lot to me,
But I hesitate.
I’m thinking of receiving rejections.

I want you to feel special and have my attention,
But I stopped myself.
The inner me says that it won’t last long.

I want to be with you every time you ask,
But I did not come.
I’m seeing you deserve someone else.

I want to eat with you and with your friends,
But I refused to go.
I imagine to might ruin your day.

I want to say that I miss you,
But I declined.
I feel that it is just my immaturity.

I want you to feel my love for you,
But I can’t.
I still have hard times to mean that it’s true.

I don’t want you to be with me during my healing process.
I’m scared that I might use you.
I have a fear of showing false hopes to you.

But thank you …

Thank you for showing how special I am to you,
Although we did not talk every day.
Thank you for all those sweet memories.
You make me believe in hopeless romantic moments.
Even though you did not say your feelings,
I can see and feel it.

I’m happy talking to God about you each day.
I’m glad and thankful that He made you and your existence matter a lot.
I’m inspired seeing that you are passionately pursuing our Savior.
I’m in peace and with joy flexing you daily in my prayer.

If God meant our path to cross,
For sure that will be the right time
That I’m ready to receive His blessing.

For now, it’s not yet the time.
Let’s build our friendship first.
And please be careful always,
Someone out there cares and loves you.