I know right? Sa title palang. But isn’t it fitting to first ask, kelan ka magkaka jowa? LOL
One toxic Filipino Culture every men and women aging 25-30 are facing is being asked by their relatives with the very familiar question: “Kelan ka Mag-aasawa?”. Yes, I know right? Same feels. Worst is if you’re a woman and they believed your reproductive system has its expiration date. They have this common belief that women should get married before 30 to be able to conceive and have children enough to create a whole basketball team including those at the bench. (Okay, that was a joke. But ye, why not. LOL)
I’ve been repeatedly asked by this question lately since I’ll be turning 28 this year and somehow, I felt the pressure. Most of my friends are married and some, their kids are already in school. Three of my friends just got engaged and will be married this year. My friend who married her best friend 3 years ago is now trying to conceive for them to have their first baby. And as for me, I’m here lying and writing this blog about them. In fact, I am still single as of the moment. I felt like I have to hurry or else, mapag iiwanan ako ng panahon as what they say. But, is this what I should feel? Do I really need to get married before 30?
Years ago, I was able to have a great conversation with my sisters in our organization who are already in their 50s. Most of them got married at 20-24 years old and during those times, they consider those age as the “marrying age”. During those years then, getting married was not that expensive and extravagant. Having a child was not hard after all and mothers are more expected to stay at home and take care of the needs of their children while the father will earn for a living. They would tell me it was not easy for them but they were able to overcome it. They sacrificed and they succeeded in life and love. But in today’s generation, do we still need to consider this?
In today’s time where the demands, needs and wants of the people have greatly increased. We began to thrive in a world of competition. Our careers became our ultimate focus to earn as much as we could to sustain not just our personal needs but our miscellaneous wants. We even sacrifice friendships and relationships for our work and that sometimes leaves us into marrying our careers. I guess that’s the first reason why some adults of my age doesn’t have anymore time for love or at least to take an effort to find it. Some people believed that life satisfaction is about getting the highest position in the office to earn enough. But then is that what we really want? Truth be told, we cannot dictate the lives of others. They have their own goals, dreams and aspirations and if for them career comes first than having a family, then who are we to question? That is still love for them. If marrying their careers could satisfy their lives, could ultimately make them happy, then, why not?
But then I suddenly read this bible verse:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Living a life alone is okay, but living a life with someone is way better. Imagine being with someone who could give you warm hugs anytime of the day, a kiss on the forehead when you wake up, someone who would prepare you breakfast when you just back from night shift work, or just someone who could make your worst day into best day. Sounds perfect right? We all still need someone to be by our side and I think, this would complete our lives.
So ang tanong na nga uli, kelan?
Well, I really don’t know too. It may take awhile, or maybe soon, but only time can tell. While I’m trying to be the best version of me, God is preparing someone for me who is also trying to be the best version of himself. Para perfect na daw kaming dalawa. 😂 We don’t need to rush things.
“Perfect time, perfect place, perfect moment, perfect person.” They say nobody’s perfect, but God is and He can make things and people perfect for us. Just trust. “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13
Have faith that love will come, hope that He will give him the one and love whoever he is and what he will become ❤️
So, Hi, pressured one. Take your time, you only live once. Live your life to the fullest. Explore, love your work, love yourself and love will come when you least expect it but God gave it because He believes “it’s time”. If there’s one thing I learned from my previous relationships is that : Never, ever settle. Just be patient and don’t rush things, anything worth having is worth waiting for.