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“Love is waiting till we’re ready, till it’s right. . .” This song Love is Waiting by Brooke Fraser has been playing in my mind since I was in college. But the song became so real to me when I fully understood why I need to be waiting in love.
It’s been more than a decade since the last time I was in a relationship. I did not have much good memories on that early romance. So, at the back of my mind, love is just something I call, “a game of chance.” Sometimes I win, but most of the time, I lose. From then on, I never take entering into a relationship seriously. I started to view dating as just for fun. I thought that as long as I would not step beyond my boundary to be physically pure, then there’s nothing to worry about. With those dates that I had, nothing came out to be a good start of a long-term relationship. I kept asking myself, “Am I not worth keeping for?’’ Or maybe there was something wrong with me that they didn’t like about. I began to feel insecure and pride slowly crept inside my heart. For me to deal with heartaches, I told myself not to trust men because they are all the same. They are just good at playing heart games. Deep in my heart, the longing of having someone who cares lingered again and again. I struggled with silent bitterness that only the Lord could see through it. I thought that I was never enough, and that I was not beautiful and good for them. As I continued going out with guys for simple lunch, dinner, or even watching movies, the thought of pursuing a relationship with them or getting married was far from my imagination and became something that I feared. I was just having an enjoyable time and just filling in the need for companionship. Who cares anyway?
This dull and monotonous situation in my life got worse as I had to see men walking away from me or I, walking away from them. In both cases, pain and heartaches were part of it. Towards the end, we have already invested emotionally (which causes so much pain) and time wasted could never be regained. My heart was not okay anymore. It felt like a piece of paper being tossed and thrown away when there’s no more use. Being so helpless and tired, I began to pray for healing. I could almost hear God’s still small voice saying, “My child, I want you to trust me and wait for my perfect will and timing.” A sudden blow of cold wind wrapped around my heart. I was reminded of how I built my life around men and how I strived to be good to keep up with them. I sought happiness from men instead of Him. When I finally asked the Lord to take control of this area of my life, I completely surrendered my heart to Him. And a few years ago, I made a commitment to God that I would wait upon His perfect will for me. I yearned to experience romance through His very eyes. I stopped dating and focused myself on serving and getting to know the Lord more and more. I have come to realized that my own effort of creating a great relationship will never be compared with His ability to orchestrate heavenly made love story.
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This season in my life brought me lessons on how I should view love and romance the way God wants it.
- Godly dating has a purpose of prayerfully considering each other as the Lord leads to end up in marriage
- The purpose of marriage is that two people can better serve God (for His glory and honor)
- Marrying someone is not all about feelings but commitment
- Never rush in love (Songs of Songs 8:4)
- Never manipulate romance
- Wait for God’s perfect timing (Story of Ruth and Boaz)
My friends, families, and even colleagues often set me up for “dates.” but I would always refuse them. Now, I am confident that waiting on the Lord would spare me from another round of pain and heartaches. And, this is the best thing to do.
Since then, my friends often tell me that I have high standards that’s why I could not just like anyone. Seeing it now, yes. I have set high standards when it comes to love and romance, not because I am too perfect or good, but my Father in Heaven is. His excellent standards are mine, too. I have already experienced how the Lord showered me with His love. And, this love compels me not to settle for good or even better, but for the best. I am His princess and I deserved to be treated that way. He has bought me with a great price. And, I want to imitate that kind of love that He has for me.
I could not be happier now that I have already trusted the Lord with my heart. Whoever that man is, he needs to seek the Lord first before He can find my heart. Love is indeed not easy, but it’s worth waiting for. It might be that someday, He will give him to me or maybe He will remain as my first love forever. Nonetheless, the joy and contentment of my heart is already found in Him. Never again that I would let my heart wander because I have already found my God’s best in the person of Jesus Christ.
Originally posted in: changedlifedot.blog.wordpres.com
Photo: ctto
