Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
I am writing this blog with a mind that defines a strong woman as a person who has strong convictions and high standards and someone who can gracefully speak to men, face to face, to confront him of his wrongdoings. I’m not describing a strong woman as a woman who can shout at a man or punch him, nor am I describing her as barbaric-like with her size and muscles. But I am talking more about her personality and convictions and not appearance because her physical appearance has nothing to do with being a kind of woman.
One time, a close friend of mine asked our group if men find strong women intimidating. I forgot the exact words I said to her but using Pastor Edrei’s thought about this will also speak for myself and answer that question. Nonverbatim, he said “a man who is intimidated by a strong woman is weak”. Hard but true.
Not All Men Who Cannot Approach Strong Women Are Weak
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Let me clarify, I’m not saying that if it is hard for a man to approach a strong woman he is weak already because I believe and know a lot of men who’s characteristic is not approachable or introvert. But when it comes to pursuing if he is intimidated in approaching a woman because of that woman’s personality it is a sign of weakness and need to check his self why he is intimidated. I’m not here to judge anyone. My objective here is to encourage every man out there to be the man that God wants Him to be. If you sense that God is pushing you to pursue someone no matter what is that woman’s personality, go! God will back you up. Just rely on His grace and strength.
When a man gives up or steps back when he is faced with a strong woman is a sign of weakness. It is a problem within. It is an issue to be solved; a faith issue. It is a struggle that needs to be overcome. It is serious. Very serious. Because it is not just about dealing with a woman’s personality but also handling different situations in every area of a man’s life. When we become afraid or intimidated and it causes us to stop and not fight back, when a challenging situation or problem comes our way, I tell you, we will bring this kind of attitude or character when it comes to our relationships.
She Still Has a Heart
Not all women who has a strong appearance has a strong heart. And not all men who has a strong personality don’t know how to cry. Sometimes, we show ourselves that we are so strong but in reality, deep in our hearts is a broken soul and dark past. And because of our past, our failures and problems, it might be the reason why most men were molded to become strong in their actions. Just like women. Not because she acts like she’s strong as a lion doesn’t mean no men can approach her. So never be intimidated by her personality because they also have a heart.
A strong woman is still a woman. She still loves to communicate. She has emotions and can be hurt. She can still fall in love with someone. Even though sometimes she doesn’t agree with the opinion of others because of what she stands for, she is still open for corrections. Also, even if she looks like a person who likes to fight and argue about something, she is also a person who can bend her knees to the ground for her Lord. Although she is straightforward, she knows how to be silent and quiet. That is how a strong woman is.
Therefore, only those who are brave and strong enough to handle her roar can take her heart. Can you tame her? Not by being stronger than her but having the quality of Christ that can soften any heart.
It takes faith to tame a lion’s personality. We must exert effort, time, and courage to get their heart. Remember David when he encountered a lion in the wilderness? What did he do? He “curled” its beard and overcame it (1 Samuel 17:35).
When he faces a lion or a bear, he is never intimidated by its appearance nor frightened by its roar. But by his strength which comes from the Lord he conquered it. And when it comes to a strong woman, we shouldn’t fear because of her strong conviction, belief and personality but we should be more amazed and surprised that there is still a kind of woman who doesn’t let her guard down and who fights for what she believes is right. It is also an encouragement and opportunity for us, men, to be more dependent into the Lord’s mighty power.
Why Men Are Intimidated?
The reason why men are intimidated by strong women is only because of their lack of faith and security. A man said, “Ang taas kasi ng standard niya”, “Parang iko-corrrect ka kaagad”, “Grabe, conviction niya eh!” “Parang ang hirap niyang i-approach!” Are those true? Or are we just afraid and we lack faith to approach and talk to her?
And if we are a man enough, we shouldn’t be intimidated but be more challenged that as a man we should still be the one who will lead her to Christ no matter how strong she is. If our security is in Christ we shall not be shaken by a woman’s conviction or personality but no matter what happens, if God called us to pursue her we should stand up and try again, somehow. Yes, rejection is painful but in that process God will show Himself as a comforter and lover so that we can realize that He is everything we need and a woman is a bonus in this life.
If you will ask me what will I choose? I would rather choose a woman who has a strong personality with her strong conviction and never gives up when hardship comes into her life than to a quiet, gentle and sweet woman who will give up and leave what she believes in when the time of suffering comes.
A Man Who Has God Shall Fear No One
No strong woman who is truly and deeply in love with the Lord will not submit herself to the man she will marry. It will be hard for her to trust or submit her life to a weak man. If a strong woman can’t see how strong we are in terms of our manhood, conviction and plans and goals, it is a slap in our face as a man. We should not point out the issue to them but to us, men. Strong women can be intimidating if and only if we are not strong enough with our faith. A real strong man will never be intimidated by the presence of a strong woman but he will be challenged, inspired and motivated.
When fear creeps in because of a woman’s strong personality and before pursuing her, let us be reminded by what the Lord had spoken to Moses, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6), also with Isaiah, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). “Be on the alert. Stand firm in the faith. Be men of courage. Be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13).