Pano Naman Ako

125

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.

Nang dumating siya sa buhay mo, nakalimutan mo ako

Kahit paman mas nauna ako kaysa sa kanya mas pinilit ko nalang lumayo kasi nakikita kong masaya ka sa kanya

Kahit ang limutin ka kainlanma’y di ko magawa, ni walang araw at gabi na di ka tumatakbo sa isipan kahit sa pagtulog ika’y napapanaginipan

While you are busy reading this article, try mo rin makinig sa episode namin:


The day you broke with her I’m in the phase of moving on from you

Nang mawala siya sa buhay mo, naalala mo ako

Ang saklap kasi ako pa talaga ang tinakbuhan mo ‘nung luhaan at durog ka

And that pain me even more seeing you crying over someone while I was crying over you in the arms of somebody

And it made me realized how pitiful am I. How hopeless I am

You rant to me every night about how you feel

Ako naman tung dating kaibigan mo na minsang nakalimutan mo nag-alala pa rin sayo kahit alam kong masasaktan na naman ako sa huli

Numerous what if’s played at the back of my head, but the fact that you still used to be my best friend, I still cannot abandon you like what you did to me

Mas nananaig parin ang malasakit ko bilang kaibigan mo kaya panandalian kong itinabi ang pagtingin ko sayo kasi alam kong sa mga pagkakataong ito ay mas kailangan mo ng kaibigan, at ako yon.

As much as I want not to be just your best friend, I don’t have the courage yet to tell you my biggest secret for I know it will change a lot of things and perhaps even you.

We chat everyday and you always fed me with your lies, saying “I’m okay”

When the night comes you start the conversation with your breakups again

Totally healed sa umaga, san nagkulang sa gabi

Ganyan yung routine natin for months until we never mentioned about your past and we instead talk how our days went. Random bardagulan that both made us laugh and forget our secret battles for a while

I became dependent on your chats that I always look for my phone first thing in the morning looking for your chats half eye open but I still manage to reply as fast as I can smiling, yea what a fool pukmaro hahaha

We ended our chat at night by bidding our good nights, which irritates me sometimes why we need to sleep when we can talk the whole night instead

I was so happy and carried away with the feeling that I forget the “moving on process” or I must say I stopped it cause I got a little hope while we were catching up for months

And then she came back. I thought it was true when you said you already let go of her. I hold my hopes there, but in just a matter of seconds it was like being cut by a sharp scissor and thrown me back again where I belong, far away from you

Pano naman ako? Sabi mo hindi mo na siya pwedeng balikan kasi tapos na at pagod ka na rin sa kanya?

So all those things you said and swear are just a mere lie

And all my comforts were useless and I felt like I’m just a replacement for her absence. I was in need because I’m available, but never the likes or wanted in the first place. In countless times, I felt so pity for myself, awang-awa ako sa sarili ko lalo na sa puso kong durog na durog.

Ako yung kailangan mo pero hindi ang gusto mo.

Isipin mo yun, useless akong tao pero ginagamit parin, tawag ba dun useful?

I look back on the days that we seemed fine and happy and time flies, now I’m looking both of you happy together again.

Mapapakanta ka nalang ng, just how fast the night changes.

Kagabi ako pa yung kausap mo, ngayon siya na ang pinagpupuyatan mo.

Samantalang ako, puyat pa rin sa kaka-stalk sayo at hanggang tingin nalang sa active now mo.

Maybe I’ll just accept the fact that we can’t be together, that I’ll stay as your best friend who will be “one call away” when you need me but stay far away when you no longer need me.

You forget me instantly cause you are no longer in pain and doesn’t need lengthy advice that you don’t follow anyway.

Now I’ll resume moving on from you again and I hope this time I’ll finally let go of my feelings for you and the next time you come to me again, crying and broken, I’ll stick to being only your best friend that you need.

Be happy mi amor, it means so much to me.

Send me the best BW Tampal!

* indicates required