Partner or Passion

25

A question that I frequently get, and I think is one of the most challenging part of my 2019. It’s something that is currently haunting me for a month now(tipong bigla bigla na lang siya pumapasok sa isip ko, gabi gabi napapanaginipan), and yes i chose passion rather than to have a partner. Let’s say that on my part I am still afraid of entering a relationship because of previous relationship that ended on my birthday(yes, you read that right on my freaking birthday), to tell you a little bit on that particular choice that I made; I have this co worker back then, that is really close to me, likewise with me to her, like we would take our breaks and lunch together, we would wait for each other after work and I would wait for her to get a jeepney to ride home before I go to my place, we would go to some overnight trips together etc. Even some of my friends on that company was asking me if there is something going on with the two of us, and like any person that foesn’t want any issue or what not, i said there’s none(even though the how we treat each other is really different from the others), and it continued for months to come. so here comes the choice part, around the middle of the year, I received an offer that involves my passion which is writing, then I told her about the offer that I received. At first I was going to take it but after our discussion(me and the girl) I come uo with the decision to stay with the company that we were working back then, and that company that gave me the offer, offered something that I cannot refused then I told her about it and she said “bahala ka, kung saan ka masaya dun ka”. And just like that since back then I really don’t have any intention on entering a relationship, and man that offer is really something. I grabbed the offer and passed my resignation letter to my previous company, and everything is working accordingly, not until this girl keeps getting on my mind for a month now, and when I have the opportunity to have a conversation with her, I just chicken out and I blame myself with that and that is why that decision is still haunting me up until now and its the freaking end of 2019.