They say that people are very lucky when they fall in love with their best friends. I guess not to everyone.
I fell in love with you some time in 2019. I thought it’s gonna be a wonderful year for us. However, you said you’re in a different state of mind when I tried defining the relationship. I understand but it’s hard to move on when you’re just around. Haay… I fell with those sweet chats when to you it doesn’t mean a thing. You’re just kidding when we’re trying to plan trips together, when you’re telling me you want me to cook for you, when you’re telling me you’d want to move out of the country and we can probably be together… I get it! It’s nothing serious.
One day, you told me you have many girl friends and they are only meant to be friends, not girlfriend material. I finally figured I am one of them but why is my heart still longing to talk to you. Sometimes we’ll talk for days, then you’ll suddenly stop and I’d miss you. I hate the feeling. I hate it when I’d see you as active but you’d never ping me. Yeah, not someone special you’d think of. Right? Ang rupok ko kasi, besh. Lol.
When will I stop praying that you’d notice me differently and be your priority 1? Oh my… As the year changes, I am praying that my heart gets healed and gets redirected to the right guy. It’s probably not you.
Anyhow, thank you for making me feel this way. For making me realize that I can never get everything I want… For giving me the opportunity to know myself better… For giving me the chance to know you… You’re a wonderful person and I want you to be happy.
Soon… I know God will unfold what is meant for me or who is meant for me. I am willing to wait but for now, I’d focus on myself. Yes, ako muna. I’d also keep in mind that I am worth to be pursued and if no one would, I know I’d be busy and happy with my own empire. I’ll probably be a glamorous Tita traveling the world and still worshiping the Lord in any way possible and in any place He’ll send me.