Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
I once asked the universe to give me a story that was extraordinary. A story that would reawaken my senses and make me realize what it’s like to fall for someone with all of my heart. But maybe, I asked for way too much.
And falling for you was something I never saw coming. And so as the pain tagged along with it, that was also something I never expected. We started off as two ordinary people bound to work together. Just like anyone else, I thought you would just turn out to be another ordinary person I could share mundane things with. But then, everyone else noticed except us that there’s this different connection between us. I knew what’s right and what’s wrong and I knew that it was never okay to exceed some lines. I tried to tuck my feelings away. But some things are meant to happen naturally. No matter how much I try to stay away, I can’t help but fall for you, and I know we’re both meeting halfway.
And then you disappeared—left me confused and hanged in midair. It hurts because how can someone bother my life and vanish like everything we shared didn’t matter, making it look like time would make it all fade away?
And then, you reappeared. It was it; as if nothing happened. And I thought I was already half way through healing when it only takes a single sight of you to bring everything all at once. It still hurts. It goes deep into my soul. Everything reran, and I was back to square one once again.
And what’s even worse is that you’re with someone again. This time, you chose not to choose me again. And so, I got into this ironic process of healing again from the story that never got the chance to begin. I felt betrayed, but I also knew my feelings weren’t your responsibility.
And so that’s why, I have to brave up and start putting in the distance in between us. I have to do it, or else I will let this feelings wreck me until there’s nothing left in me. It hurts to know that we almost stood a chance only for you to take your steps back. Maybe, I wasn’t that someone you really wanted because if you do, you’ll never allow me to go through all this.
Still, even at this distance, I still root for you. I still wish the best for you. Silently, I will clap for the success you’ll have. But it’s better this way after all. I have to save myself, for I know no heart would beat for me except my own. And only I will understand the extent of the affection and hurt I felt for you. You’re no ordinary person, above anyone else, you will always be my greatest uncertainty.