Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
HOW CAN I MOVE ON?
Sorry pero ibabalik ko din muna sa iyo yung tanong ah? I mean,
While you are busy reading this article, try mo rin makinig sa episode namin:
Sure ka na ba talaga?
Willing ka na bang mag-let go?
Kaya mo na bang tanggapin na wala na kayo?
Kaya mo na bang hindi humingi ng 2nd, 3rd, or nth chance?
Kaya mo nang hindi magmakaawa na kayo nalang uli? Na ikaw nalang uli?
Kaya mo nang hindi maging pokmaru para sa kanya?
To be honest, there are lots of ways to move on. But if you’re not into it talaga dahil mahal mo pa sya, pwedeng maging useless lang din itong mga ipapayo ko sa iyo.
Pero kung ready ka na at gustong-gusto mo na, ano pang hinihintay natin? Gora na tayo besh! Push na natin ang oplan Moving On na yan!
The items mentioned below are humble suggestions only. I believe there is no definite formula for moving on or a remedy that fits everyone’s situation or needs.
But you can always customize these tips para magfit sa pace mo or sa mental and emotional capacity mo na makapagmove on. Simulan na natin ah?
Tip #1: Feel your emotions
Cry if you must. Be angry. Explode. Rant all you want. Allow yourself to feel negative emotions no matter how ugly, wrong, or tiring they are. It’s part of being human.
Allow yourself to mourn for losing someone who once had been an important part of your life.
It’s not being weak. In fact, feeling your emotions and grieving are baby steps in the healing process. But please don’t ignore and never forget your limits, okay?
Tip #2: Accept the reality
Acknowledge the fact that both of you are DONE.
Acknowledge the fact that he/she no longer belongs to your present nor future, that he/she is not meant to stay in your life, and soon, he/she will just be a memory to you.
Acceptance, my friend, is really the key. At yung pagtanggap sa realidad at katotohanan kahit masakit ay tanda ng katatagan at katapangan.
Tip #3: Don’t rush yourself
I understand that you want to forget him/her asap, but don’t try too hard besh. I personally think it would also be futile.
Kasi unless magka-amnesia or Alzheimer’s ka, hindi mo naman talaga sya makakalimutan. Mawawala lang yung sakit, mawawala lang yung epekto nya sayo, pero hindi mawawala yung fact na naging kayo, yung fact na iniwan, niloko, or ipinagpalit ka nya sa iba, at yung fact na nasaktan (or nasasaktan) ka dahil sa kanya.
You can’t eliminate the fact that he/she, once, had been a part of your life. Hindi mo sya makakalimutan. Pero yung mawalan na sya ng epekto sayo, yung maging okay ka kahit nasa malapit sya, or yung maging masaya ka nalang para sa kanya, yung di ka na bitter, yun ang possible.
It will happen, I promise. But there’s no need to rush. Hindi race or competition ang pagmumove-on. So what kung masaya na sya tapos ikaw lugmok parin sa kalungkutan?
Besh, hindi required na bukas, dapat okay ka na agad. Hindi yun ganon. I mean, it depends. But allow yourself to heal in a natural process and at your own pace.
Tip #4: Focus on the lessons
Pag naaalala mo sya, just think of your happy memories together.
Kasi may pinagsamahan naman kayo ee. Minahal mo naman talaga sya. Na kahit nagkamali sya, naging mabuti din naman sya sayo kahit papaano. That he/she had made you happy a lot of times, even though they’re all in the past na.
Just… learn your lessons nalang and make sure that you’re gonna be a better person after this relationship, not a bitter one.
Tip #5: Cut all ties
Hide or dispose anything that may remind you of him/her. Donate mo yung mga pwedeng pakinabangan pa. Clean your room or house hanggang wala na syang maiwang bakas sayo.
Pano kung may anak kayo? (That’s a different case naman po. But I believe, as a parent, you know what to do with kid(s) so I will not go into details regarding this.)
Don’t block him/her on social media kasi sabi nila magmumuka ka daw bitter. Parang may point naman sila 😂😂😂
But if he/she is that toxic to you, of course, you can choose to block him/her entirely… not just on social media platforms but also from your life.
Don’t stalk his/her accounts. Don’t think of creating a break-up playlist. Don’t be a masochist.
Let go of the What If’s and Should Have, Could Have, and Would Have Been’s.
Stop wondering what went wrong or if you’re never enough.
Past na nga kasi sya. It’s no longer worth it. Masasaktan ka na, masasayang pa oras at braincells mo kakaisip.
Plan something productive and fulfilling instead. And get onto it.
Tip #6: Make yourself busy
Sometimes we’d rather be alone and just mope inside our room… and block everyone out. But for our mental, emotional, and physical health, it’s better to unwind and spend some time with others.
Spend time with your fam and friends. Pamper yourself. Travel alone. Visit orphanages. Work, work, work tas save, save, save. Start oplan Balik Alindog program. MagKdrama marathon. Watch a movie alone. Take your self on a date.
Do the things you haven’t tried before. And seriously besh, there’s a lot of activities waiting for you to try.
Make your season of waiting worthwhile. Learn to love yourself again. Refill your love tank. Focus on growth and self-improvement.
Tip #7: Talk to God
(I consider this my most important advice.)
Tell Him everything. Mag-open up ka sa Kanya. Tell Him your frustrations, your regrets, your feelings, your realizations, your deepest desires. He’s a very good friend and listener, I swear.
Ask Him to heal you, to fill the empty void your ex has left in your heart.
Ask Him to help you forgive your ex and yourself, help you to let go and move forward, and to start again.
Deepen your relationship with God this time. Wag mo lang kakausapin pag may problema ka or gustong irequest sa Kanya.
Surrender yourself to Him first. Allow yourself to commit everything to Him. Make Him the center of your life and your relationships with others.
He loves you so much you’ll learn your true worth and identity… and how to love yourself and others properly.
When you’re all healed and happy, you’ll start hoping again. You’ll be able to love and trust again. This time, trust in His plans and timing as well.
Pray lang palagi. With God, nothing is impossible.
Tip #8: Meet new people
But, wag maghanap o gawing panakip butas ang ibang tao. Masama iyon. Hindi na makakatulong sayo, makakasakit ka na, pwede pang magdulot sa iyo ng panibagong problema.
And please don’t flirt around. Have some decency. Respect yourself enough not to do that.
Sabi ko nga, wag madaliin ang mga bagay-bagay. The right one will eventually find his/her way to you, and will stay. But while waiting, strive to make yourself a better person, too. Yung buo na at handang-handa na ulit magmahal at icommit ang lahat.
Enjoy this season and always choose to live with hope and positivity.
Actually, kung isasummarize ko to, ano lang sya:
FORGIVE, MOVE FORWARD, PICK UP THE LESSONS, AND DO CORRECTIVE ACTIONS.
As I have said, we have different ways of moving on, pati pacing. What works for me may not work for you. And of course, it’s completely up to you if you’ll heed my words.
Tiwala ako na makakamove-on ka rin soon. Kaya mo yan. God bless and lovelots!
Sana makatulong to. 😊
Written by: Rah Imperial
To God be all the glory.