Family Member:

“Hindi ka ba na-iinggit sa mga pinsan mo na nag-abroad, at ‘yung mga kaibigan mo na ang ganda ng mga trabaho at may negosyo pa.”

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ME:

“First of all, hindi ako inggitera,

I’m happy for their achievements, most esp. if sa mabuting paraan nila narating at nakamit ‘yun.

Secondly, kung meron mang dapat ka-inggitan, hindi temporary achievements. Ang nakaka-inggit ay ‘yung taong hindi kinukumpara ng sariling pamilya niya, kasi naniniwala sila sa kanyang kakayahan as unique individual–that person can excel in places or careers according to her passion & purpose, without being insecure or compared with others based on their financial status nor career progress. Lahat naman tayo ay ayaw kinukompara sa ibang tao lalo na kung napapahiya tayo. If you look at the person & see as “least” & you compare that person to someone you see as “best”, is it that not mental torture & public shaming??

Do you think it’s an effective way to encourage & challenge that “least” person to do better? Maybe for others that can motivate or help them, but that, in the long run, can cause emotional damage and can degrade their self-image that they need to prove themselves that they can be like others, that they can do better than others..and that, can cause cycle of comparing and comparing for future generations. Does comparing a healthy motivation? I don’t think so. Comparing happened in the past, & it causes turmoil between siblings and also in friendships. Is it time to STOP this CYCLE of COMPARING??

#NoToComparing

#MapangahasNaRealTalk