Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.

Why do we always hurt the one we love?

“True love hurts,” a cliché line I always read and heard. But does this justify our decisions and actions when we hurt the one we love? Is it enough to validate the hurt we brought by saying that we just love them and so pain is part of the love we give to them?

I cannot contain myself on pondering the right thoughts in order to rationalize the statement. Why do we have to go through pain when the only thing that we want is to love and to be loved? Is it because we are not loved the way we love? Is it because we just expected so high and got the opposite? Is it our decisions or is it between ourselves? Is it on what we give or is it on what we receive?

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Is it by choice that we hurt them? Is it unintentional that we just so love them but the love we have resulted the other way around that instead of joy, it caused them hurt?

I, too is guilty. I just love so hard to the point that I’m hurting the one I love. I’m causing someone else’s pain and the more painful thing to it is that he’s the one dear to me.

Upon pondering things out, I came to the point where I told myself that if I will just hurt the one I love, then I’m afraid to love anymore. I’m afraid that I will just cause him pain and thorns he doesn’t deserve in the first place.

But if I will keep on fearing, it’s not the love that I fear, it’s the fear I have within myself. It’s the fear that I have constructed and built. And if I will keep on fearing, then I will also keep on hurting people no matter how I don’t want it to be.

There are so many questions in my mind and each led to more thoughts. It’s hard to find the right answer. Perhaps, it’s hard to justify. It’s difficult to reason out. Because there will always be no enough words to defend the pain we brought and cause to someone we love. It’s inevitable but it can be worked out. If handled well, the hurt that we brought can spring into growth and another milestone in our relationship. We just have to see the light on it and of course deal with it in the proper way – go through the right process.

Despite my uncertainties, on here I am certain. Yes, it’s true. True love hurts because THE ONE who truly loves us even die in hurt and pain while in the Cross. But the good thing is, He is the real source of love, the love that is perfect and beyond measure. And if we love and seek Him, the perfect love that He has and gave for us will take away all the fears we have in our hearts.

And then, true enough, we can love fearlessly. We know that true love hurts, but we now know which love is worth enduring and fighting for. We now know how to battle and love – that although we got hurt sometimes, we know it’s worth it. Why? Because our love comes from God and likewise with the one we love – he is a good and perfect gift from above.

And on the question, “why do we always hurt the one we love?” I’d like to change it into something that is much worth pondering for, if God loves us so much that He gave His only son for us, then why do we always hurt the one who truly loves us?

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