Why do we get hurt when we love? I wonder if it is even inevitable? How can I be exempted from such curse?
We get hurt simply because we love. It’s ultimately impossible to love without getting hurt. Love just overpowers the pain that’s why we are not able to discern it — yet.
Love gives us euphoria which totally conceals everything outside the world you built for the two of you. You become immersed with the emotions, the bliss, and the contentment that it brings. Pain is forgotten. It’s all buried with each passing day as you exchange ‘i love yous’, as you drown each other in your endearing caresses and alluring kisses, and as long as you feel assured and owned by someone who you chose to spend your whole life with. Someone who brought you a paradigm shift in this world full of mediocrity and temporary people. A person who you imagined yourself growing old with.
But when love slowly fades away, pain finds its way through. It will make you awakened that the magical things you considered spells which brought you in bliss are poisons to your soul. You start to regret that you allowed yourself to be drowned in someone’s presence and consume your energy which you could have spent in other things that matter most.
You cannot stand being with someone and seeing that someone who you once considered as your world. The spark that made your heart jump with immense jitters now makes it feel heavier, harder to carry. The eyes that once displayed radiance the moment you think of that person are now dispensing the weight that this heart could no longer contain. You tell yourself that “I cannot stand seeing myself like this and I shoud do something”.
You realize that love is not a walk in the park. It never turned out how you imagined it would be. No bed of roses, no long distances that are worth travelling for from the moon and back just for that person.
All of these are hallucinations. You question yourself if you are still worthy to love, be loved, and would it feel the same way again if you risked the second time around?
Instead of trying to find love again with the hopes of seeing the light at the end of this relentless tunnel, you chose to focus on one thing: staying in love, and still choosing to believe in love in spite of everything BUT THIS TIME, a love that you rightfully deserve. Or better, a love that your self has long been looking and waiting for. After all, it’s all yourself who you have at the end of the day. And my confidence and greatest assurance is that this time, you are willing — more than willing than ever before to risk this chance. Not because you feel alone nor unwanted, but because you are worthy. You are lovable and most importantly, you deserve a great love story too. Even if it’s self-love.