Having your first love especially at a young age makes you feel unstoppable that you will be together till the end and the feeling of someone with you will flourish all throughout. But sometimes, that’s not the case.
Coming from a zero knowledge and experience on relationships way back it made me felt the one mentioned above. Like I didn’t know it even existed or happens most especially back then I was a HS student and my mindset was just purely academics. But then someone fell for me. Someone admired my kind personality, my smile, my intelligence while I just fell for his wittiness at times. At first, it was confusing for me to even let this sink in and understand but I just went with the flow and let it come to me. Moving forward to life, I was already in my last months of being a college student and about to graduate, I felt the 180 degrees of the “unofficial” relationship and I realized that it was time to call it quits. Red flag after red flag. It took a toll out of me and I said to myself that I want to move out from this and make my life better for real considering I’m close to graduating. So I mustered up and told him that I want to end it for good.
Now, with a stable job and with a guy I’m happy and felt peace at for 4 years and counting, looking back I then realized that my first love was definitely an eye-opener and made me realize a lot of things:
Your first relationship will never be a perfect one. You get to experience hits and misses. There will be a lot of rollercoaster rides. There will be instances of feeling and being immature in the relationship and that’s okay. But at some point if the goal is to be in a long-term and eventually end game, there will be a time to set aside the immaturity and get to be rational and sensible decisions on how you wanna make this work out long term.
Experiences change you and (should) make you wiser. Why am I adding the word should here. Well, it should make you realize what are the good and the bad that came out of it. If it was bad, check what should have been done and how it will be avoided and do better next time. If good came out of it, then it’s worth remembering but then again there could be a better one to do. Experiences whether good and bad definitely change you. It’s up to you on how you will deal it next.
Do not be clouded by infatuation or love solely by and to the person. Being too much infatuated and love can cloud your thinking and judgment of things. Keep a part of you within you.
Heal and love yourself after the breakup. Breakups, most especially if it is the first one, affects you emotionally at worse psychologically depending on how bad the breakup is. It may be at times not an easy one but you will get through. Learn to stay single, try to make yourself better, discover more about yourself and keep yourself busy. Avoid getting into rebounds if at all costs and let yourself to heal. If at worse, may be best to seek therapy / counseling.
Improve yourself and make smart decisions. As you get older, you get to know more about yourself and as you get to experience life whether alone or with the right people, you get to learn a lot and be able to come up or decide more rationale and smart decisions. Who knows? The better version of you will attract that better significant other and eventually lead to the relationship that you are looking for and lead to the happy ever after in your life.
Never give up and have faith in yourself.
