As I grow older in life, I learned that in love, there are no fairy tales like what I used to believe. There is no perfect nor complete happiness in relationships. The pain that I felt from my first heartbreak tells me so. It was so far from what I dreamed of. Because in my dream, there’s no pain. There are no heartbreaks. There are no tears. Only a “happy ever after.”
My first heart break brought me so much fears and uncertainties in entering into serious relationships. I thought that I could live alone, why would I still need a man that cannot save nor protect me? If in love there is heartache, why bother to try again? If there’s a chance that he will break my heart, why would I gamble this time around?
My heart became so fragile that I built a great wall around it – never ever wanting someone to break and enter into it. Coldness outside that wall became my strong defense. I was too careful. But later on, I realized that there’s beauty in being with someone you can spend your forever.
As years passed by, through God’s love and grace, I was healed from that feeling of always on the defensive side of romantic love. Though fears still linger around, I will try this chance of loving and being loved.
To that man out there, there’s only one thing I ask from you – will you seek God for my heart?
And, if God will say “yes” to you, will you please be careful with it?
Please don’t ever break it. It might never be whole again.
