Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
Sometimes you’re too busy trying to figure out whether someone is your soulmate or not until it came to the point of forgetting the time. Sometimes you don’t think about the time as long as you love the person. And yes, you do.
You are ready to fall in love and ready for commitment. You’re both ready. The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing as what others say but you didn’t care about the time because love has no concept of time. Love just happens. It is not something you plan to conveniently place in your life when the time seems to be perfect for you. As Napoleon Hill said “Do not wait: the time will never be just right. Start where you stand.”
There is no perfect time nor wrong time for love. There is just time, which we do not control. When you feel that it is love then, acknowledge and stand for it.
In a relationship, time won’t dictate if your love is at the right time or at the wrong time as long as both are committed and act with respect to each other. They can survive schedules and career changes, of going to work or school, giving time to each other, or buying things together. They usually can even survive the long distance, one of the most stressful thing couples go through in their relationship. Some people say that distance doesn’t matter but for others it does. There’s always that dull, nagging fear that some day, it won’t work and worst it’ll end. In a relationship, you get this rare chance of knowing someone deeper but sometimes distance hinders you. You want to get to know his pains, his joys, and what defines him as a person but sometimes this will lead you to discover indifference.
You are committed and sometimes go into an autopilot mode, and you become indifferent to each other. He switches off his sensors and feelings and you can feel it. You can literally feel it in your heart and still does. It hurts.
Sometimes you go through love in vulnerable state trying to find the answer why someone turned into a stranger. Communication appears to be taking place but just shallow. What triggers the indifference in him? Is it because of time? Love at a wrong time?
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Indifference is not caring what the other person does in a relationship and this is what others do. Everything seems okay on the surface but he didn’t care anymore about you and your relationship. There’s no compulsion anymore. He has shut off caring. You’ve gotten into letting your tears fall down on your face. You had that feeling of loneliness when the two of you are far much more when he changed a lot. You didn’t concentrate on this feeling, you stopped feeling pity and overthinking about your relationship because it couldn’t help your situation. You made sacrifices and put effort into a monogamous relationship. You branched out and stretched to make every moment of yours memorable but still, it wasn’t enough. His indifference left a huge disconnection between the two of you. His temperant was absolutely different from yours. He stopped answering your calls, your chats and when he does, there’s no spark at all. Whenever you ask him what’s wrong, he won’t tell you. He’ll say that everything is fine. That everything is constant but his words and actions contradict each other. You can feel the difference. You can feel that there’s something wrong but you remain calm because you love him. You can feel the pain because you care and he does the opposite.
People come up with reasons why a relationship fails but sometimes you will be in a quest, in a situation in which you don’t know why it happens. This situation is beyond your control anymore and you’ll end up walking away from him with emotional baggage. You want to stay but the pain inside keeps on reminding you that it’s time to end the heartaches. It’s time to walk away but the feeling of being left behind unchecked can’t be forgotten. The unappreciated and nonexisting shadow is still there but sooner or later, time will come that you will forget that someone existed. The same thing he did.