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Tbh, I have always seen you as a brother. Perhaps because I always wanted a Kuya and having you as my best friend sort of fulfilled that wish. It felt so reassuring that I have someone of the opposite gender whom I can talk almost everything to. When we became best friends, I knew it was real because I felt that you were genuine. We’re frank towards each other, we curse at each other, we tell each other the deepest secrets, and we talk to each other the most comfortable way we know how. And, I loved it that way. I love how our friendship may seem the most unpredictable but we defied the odds and here we are, we’re continuing to build this friendship.
We talk often but not every day and I appreciate how we still understand and connect to each other without having the need to respond to every message. I still like it even most of the time we’ll just drop emojis, ruin the mood, and end conversations that quickly. Just like any other friendships out there, ours wasn’t perfect. I even recall getting mad at you for being the most annoying when capturing stolen ugly photos that you refuse to delete. I’ll stop at my first attempt because I know you’d still keep it for further meme-use.
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We were so close that my other friends would tease me that we might be developing something deeper than what we already have. I remember laughing and ignoring them because I was too confident that it won’t happen even in the after life. We would often exchange heartbreak stories, dramas, and stupid love advice for our separate relationships. You would get me a potential boyfriend to date and I would push you to the girls who obviously have feelings for you too. That’s how we always root for each other. It was always that way and we’re used to it. When I was on my another attempt to bet for love, I thought it didn’t make sense because being with another guy makes me want to be with you instead. The feeling was so strange that I can’t take it off my head.
I think my overconfidence dragged me to the most complicated scenario- I’m falling in love with you. And the more I oppose my feelings, the more it gets stronger, the more I can’t control it. It hit me hard when someone who doesn’t even know you personally told me that you seem like a nice guy looking on how protective you are of me. My mind kept on seeing flashbacks of how you proved me numerous times before that nobody else would have cared the way you did and it makes me feel so special.
I used to be very straightforward in front of you. I would tell you anything without sugar coating, filter, and censor. However, I came across the hardest thing that I wish I could have told you the moment I felt it. On the other side of our conversation, I was both scared and happy. I promise to be the same honest best friend when I get the courage to do so. But for now, it will have to stay this way because I’m too afraid to lose what I don’t have now.