Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.

I was afraid that I can’t make it. I am tired of faking all of it. I was so happy now and later I feel empty I feel broken from the inside yet I try to make it I am sad, Yes but I try to make sense out of nothing. I wanna cry out loud but it seems that no one will hear me.I wanna shout the pain to ease it but I can’t do it. I always have that something that keeps on, Something that keeps on slowing me down. God, I swear I wanna escape! All I want to do is to escape away from the pain!Please, I wanna end this pain and agony!I can’t understand anymore this feeling of nothingness.I feel exhausted and I don’t know how to soothe this. 

They all said I was just afraid and tired. They said it was all just in my mind. Hey! I’m not crazy, I am empty!I don’t want this but I don’t know how to stop! The demon keeps on coming and he would say”You can be happy so come with me” All I can think of is to end this life of mine.When I think about it, I feel hopeful. Hopeful that I will be happy after Hopeful that I can escape for a while Hopeful that it will numb the being of me And I am hopeful it will vanish my darkness But it seems that I will always keep on coming back Keeps on coming back into the darkness. 

I am lost and I don’t know where should I go.I always wanted to go out there I always want to cross over different path But Why I can’t? Why can’t I just be happy?Every time I thought of jumping off, I still have my cold feet. I still have the thought if the people will be happy for me? I still want them to be happy for me even if i’ll be gone I want them to understand that it’s kinda hard for me I want them to know how in pain I am now And this is the only way for me to end it.I’m afraid I can’t make them proud. I’m petrified that I’ll bring them sorrowAnd it causes my demon to trouble me again. But I don’t know what to do now!Oh God I’m cold, troubled and panic stricken.

While you are busy reading this article, try mo rin makinig sa episode namin:

My sanity is at stake when I got this sickness. Trust me, I’m trying to make all thing easier but it’s not dong well.I kinda want to poison myself so I can be at peace. I just need someone to understand what  I’ve been through. Oh please don’t push me too hard or I’ll pull the trigger of this gunI can end it here and I will be happy then (or Shall I be?)My thought and my heart is empty. I’m floating in the midst of nothingnessOh, No, my head is flowing and floating and I feel nothing I swear I wanna go back to what I am But my demon keeps on holding me I am at the cell and it won’t let me escape and the fill the hole within me is to take the poison And everything will be okay. 

Send me the best BW Tampal!

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