Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
You made me experience things without your knowledge
I used to think that break ups and moving on stories are completely exaggerated in movies
Well it turned out to be not
Just by hearing your name hurt me enough
I felt suffocated
Having a glimpse of your photo is making me week
I lost interest in the middle of watching which I have obsession with
Your face is the first time I saw with different strangers
Maybe because when we parted ways, I also started to seek you from one person to another
To be frank, I no longer feel that dager in my chest when your name is mentioned
Or when I hear sad and relatable stories
Even advices that slap me in the face don’t hurt me anymore
But instead I felt sad, extremely sad but not depressed
Later, it turned to be hate
I started to avoid your name
I don’t want to see updates of you
It doesn’t feel right anymore
I thought that will be the end
But I was mistaken
Out of the blue you sent an afternoon greeting
It was so unexpected that I couldn’t compose a reply
Not long after you sent another message
It was a favor
Suddenly you asked me to go through our old conversations to find your old mail account
I was taken a back and unfortunately I already deleted everything
I felt hesitant to say it because I know the conversation will end
I felt stupid and started to blame myself on why I couldn’t remember anything
I started to give suggestions just to keep the conversation going
I even forget that I was sending you messages there
I was so stupid and dumb, what was I thinking
And again the conversation ended with me being one of those unseenzoned messages
And when you’ve seen and reacted to my last reply, I felt thankful and boastful
I know it was weird
And come to think of it
That was the first time you message me first after years
You used to send me messages continuously even if I ignored it
You kept talking to yourself because I’m offline most of the time
Just like that, my feeling got stirred up once again
I am back to level one
Hoping that we still have a second chance
Wondering if I should wait for you or not
Confused with what to do
Even if I know you have someone new.
