I Turned the Last Page to it’s Ending

I feel sick again..
But what’s new?
I’ve been always like this ever since I met you.
No, not really..
I was a soldier with a wounded heart.
I fought hard, gone through a lot of obstacles,
And finally defeated my own self,
My selfless character,
My ever loving self..
When I thought everything’s over for me,
You rushed in..
You stopped me..
You healed me..
Or so I thought..

I feel sad again..
But what’s new?
I’ve always been like this since you turned your back on me.
No, not really..
You were always there for me.
You were there when I needed someone to taste my new experimented cookie.
You were there when I needed someone to listen to my endless, repeating stories.
You were there..
You made me happy..
You showed me a new meaning of love..
Or so I thought..

I am shaking again..
But what’s new?
My body reacts with my eyes.
My eyes that can’t find out the truth.
No, not really..
I was always aware of the truth..
I just chose to keep my eyes closed..
I just chose to have a blind sight of what’s real..
The reality that I am no longer your home..
That you found a new safe haven..

I am lost of words..
But what’s new?
I was always stuck with just the thoughts inside my head.
It’s hard to speak out my mind.
No, not really..
I had always been open to you,
But you got tired of my voice..
It turned out to be so annoying, isn’t it?
I had the sweetest voice.
But the truth from my mouth kept hunting you.
Like the echoes trapped in your empty heart.
That I once occupied,
But now’s a home to someone else..

I am stuck in your Facebook profile..
But what’s new?
I always have myself updated..
You shared yourself, your every moment to the world..
When all I ever think of was,
where were you?
who you were with?
But I got no response..
And all I got a chance to say was “Alright”
Because all I was for you was a walking reminder of how the world hasn’t blessed you with such a nice girl..
But I was, really..
You just forgot it.. You first thought of me like that..
Or so I thought..

I am looking at my arms right now and saw the bruises you left me..
But what’s new?
You’ve hurt me emotionally and physically..
But you don’t have to be sorry, because I pushed myself when I know you want it no more..
I pushed myself when I know all that’s left are pain and misery..
I made you the bad guy..
I made you the selfish one..
I made you the monster..

I had all my what ifs..
Because I never wanted to miss a single chance..
Because what if I stayed longer,
Would you be able to see the beauty of my smiles and laughters that once brought sunshine to your life?
Because what if I fought more,
Would you be able to see how we all started this, how you fought for us when the world was then challenging us?
Because what if I loved you better, would you still choose to run away and leave me alone?

5:40 in the afternoon in my watch..
Time’s ticking so fast..
As I hear the waves at the bay..
As the sun rays hit my face..
I read the last few lines of this favorite chapter..
“I love you more than you thought I do”
As I turned my back..
I turned the last page to it’s ending..