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It couldn’t be just me, right? There will always be times like these— like those things we’ve done the wrong way would come back and haunt our minds in the middle of the night.
Like when you thought, “Yup! I’ve forgiven them already, and I’ve forgiven myself too.” But, bitch! Other part of me says “In your dreams girl! You’ve caused too much pain to others, you must suffer for eternity.”
Also, when you’ve accepted your reality as of the moment already but your what if’s bugging you and will make you feel low about yourself. Because you know deep inside that you could’ve done so much better, but you didn’t just because you just didn’t try.
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Of course! at the same time, you’d feel like you’re just by yourself. You’d feel alone, like nobody cares. Nobody asks how you’re feeling. Everybody just assume you’re happy because you’re smiling. And then you’d wonder if you truly have someone, “that friend” who’d be there for you, always no questions asked.
Or it could be that that one person we treat like she/he is “that friend” whom you’d do the same. But in reality, she/he wouldn’t treat us the same.
There would be a lot, to be honest. These are just some of those stuffs you’d think during one of these random low nights.