Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
So there’s this thread in the BW community asking guys how they feel when the person they’re courting also entertains other guys. I found the question very interesting and some of the comments eye-opening on how some guys are feeling or dealing with it. Some can handle it well, while some were really hurt, and some felt betrayed from their own experiences. And these are all valid feelings, they’re human after all. However, there was this particular comment that triggered me. According to this guy, women who entertain more than one guy are “malalandi”, “madudumi”, “toxic”, and “utak COVID”. I tried to respond in a calm manner.
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Here’s my take on this:
#BradNaman, when courting, the person is asking for a chance, not an assurance. Just because a man is pursuing a woman, it doesn’t mean she’s obliged to say yes or adjust for him. Good for him if he’s the only one being entertained and if he could feel that she feels the same way.
If not, it would really hurt. So before declaring your intention to pursue her, ask yourself: are you willing to invest your time and effort, given the risks (e.g. the possibility that she’d choose someone else). And pray about it first. That’s the #WayOfTheWarrior!
“Gusto ng babae na siya lang ‘yung liligawan at magiging committed sa kanya, eh di dapat isa lang manliligaw niya” – an excerpt from the said comment
When still dating, the arrangement would depend on the parties’ agreement if they want it to be exclusive or not. This is understandable because they are both exploring. However, when someone declares his intention to court a person, it’s different. If the intention is serious and pure, shouldn’t you be courting just one person because you’re basically declaring that you want to pursue a relationship with that person? Hence, the one courting is not entitled in exclusivity. Why? That person wasn’t forced. Also, that person is not entitled to a future ‘yes’ from the one being courted. If the perks of exclusivity would be given, good for him! But let me be clear: it’s the woman’s choice, and not her obligation. When you’re already a couple, that’s when exclusivity is demanded. 😊
I’ve never experienced this, but as a woman, I don’t appreciate reading statements that degrade other women for their decisions like chosing to not entertain a guy exclusively. There’s nothing wrong with that and they do not deserve to be shamed like that.
I am grateful to Boiling Waters for providing an accessible online platform for discussions like this. And I am super happy to know through the community that there are still a lot of warriors out there. To the real warriors, magpatuloy lang kayo!
Can we also start a thread for our #WarriorPrincess? I am interested to know your thoughts on this:
Anong masasabi nyo sa mga nanliligaw palang pero nambabakod na agad? Okay ba sa inyo ang ganitong arrangement? Kinikilig ba kayo o kumukulo ang dugo?