Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.

I’ve been browsing my Facebook profile this morning and I saw a post about singleness being a disability. You probably saw one in your social media too. Somebody somewhere is posting about him/her being single and they feel miserable about it. Well, I think, in my own opinion, being single if you are old enough to marry and you really want someone to be with you is really awful. I mean, even I, myself will conclude that a life alone, like you do not have someone to tell all of what happened to you after a day of work or to spend time with is just lonely. I honestly know you feel.

First of all, I want you to know that I am not against people who are ranting about it on social media. I may speak directly or take actions differently as a writer, but I think, honestly putting my words into paragraphs is the best way to share what I believed in and help everyone from not experiencing unnecessary pain. If I am writing to lie or just to take the public’s attention, then, I am not an honorable person after all. So, I want you to know upfront that I am not mad or angry about people who takes singleness as a stage in our life that we should immediately leave. I write these words with compassion, with a love from Jesus that is springing up from my heart. —My attempt to help you get out of what this culture is telling you and choose to see yourself as a complete individual valued by Jesus.

I believe that singleness isn’t what we think it is already. This world is telling us that if we do not have somebody to write about, spend time with or even sleep with, it means we are not lovable or we are undesirable, ugly and not worthy but is that really true? Then, why do we feel unlovable, undesirable and ugly when somebody leaves us after all that we gave to them? Why do we even let the culture of hook up or not-sure-about-the-other-person-but-I-am-still-going-to-date-them kind of dating elude us? If we think being single in a world where everyone is making the process of courtship easy, then, we already believed that we are not complete without another person in our life and that is dangerous.

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Singleness is not a stage of life that everyone should not experience. I believe an old couple that still has their current relationship now will tell that singleness helped their current relationship value the other person.

We need to understand that singleness is a stage in our life where we can become the person God wants us to be so we can be prepared when the right person comes along.

Singleness can be used irresponsibly, but you can use it to start becoming the best version of yourself as well. And trust me, I know the looooooooong agony but it will be worth it. It’s either an early relationship where the two of you are unprepared for commitment and will eventually lead the two of you to give each other something that you should not give and end up breaking up and leaving each other again just like the culture around you? Or wait until you become the person God wants you to be and be prepared for the time when you will meet the person God prepared for you as well?

If you are a woman, you want a Toni Gonzaga kind of love, pure until marriage, where you will be valued as a lady, that’s for sure. Where you are ready for another successful being and both of you are ready and prepared for the best of each other. But that will never happen unless you make the decision now to not let the culture around you dictate your next actions.

If you are a man, for sure you are praying for a woman with quality, somebody who is not only candy for the eye but also sweet to the soul, somebody who knows her soul more than her appetizer but I need to let you know that a woman like that won’t let a guy who is irresponsible about his life today, become a father of their children someday.

Friends, even I is wanting and really praying for a love that will be everlasting, a love where I knew I worshipped God but we need to not let this world define our standards, we need not become hasty about our decision just because we feel lonely. I think being with somebody just because you do not want to become alone is just cruel, you serve yourself and not the other person. Can we call that kind of motivation as love? Or we wait until we become a person who is like us, somebody who will think of what he/she is going to give to you than what he/she going to receive from you?

The choice is ours.

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Patrick is an INFJ, an introvert with a quest to equip boys of his generation into becoming the real gentlemen that this society and mediocre dating culture needs. He writes articles, songs and poetry. He have this mini library in his room full of books about morality, gentlemanhood and spirituality. He is a musician, a Christian apologist by discovery, an athlete and a military enthusiast.