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You chose to stop talking to her, suddenly pretended like you didn’t happen. You made her question herself where it went wrong and she spent her days wondering what made your heart grow cold that it can melt all the feelings you buried in her soul. And now she’s moving on from all of your memories.
I’m sure you were laughing damn hard, basking in pleasure and feeling perfectly fine even without her knowing that you made her trust you and just broke it like a glass waiting to be dropped into thousand pieces. But weeks and months will pass, and time will suddenly hit you with the realization that you lost her and you have thought about it too late because of your egocentric self. She saw you lost, empty, lonely, afraid, alone and scarred with all the battles you conquered in life. And despite learning all the worst in you, she decided to stay because she thought you will do the same for her but you chose to break her instead.
Someday you are going to walk on the sidewalks and her face will come across your mind and her soft voice will haunt you in the middle of the night. You will want to run on the streets and shout in frustration and regret because you can’t imagine how the hell you were able to let go of someone who saw the tainted parts of your soul but still have chosen to stay. You can’t be able to fathom the thought about how you took for granted someone whose laugh healed the rusty and numb emotions you had which you thought will never be awakened. You can’t be able to reckon the thought on how you can let go of someone whose smile can make flowers grow even in the darkest parts of your mind. You will be daunted with disbelief because you lost someone whom you can pour your soul into and talk about every dark thoughts you had in mind. You lost someone who’s wholeheartedly willing to offer her own sunshine in order to light the dark hallways in your life.
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And I’m warning you if you are holding something, hold tight into it because you are going to see her laughing damn hard with some guy she met in her office and she will look like she made the right decision to move on and forget all the awful memories she had with you. And it will dawn on you that you made the wrong resolution because she will never settle to be your option anymore. And you are going to call her name like an old man grasping for last breath, you will even shout it at the top of your lungs hoping it will echo in walls of the building just so she can hear it but she won’t even bother to look back at your direction. And that’s how you’ll know.