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To my almost significant other,
We always contemplate whether we deserve to hold each other’s hand, but we always end up letting a small smile for insurance. You’ll always tell me on how you visualize things between us, but never any of those happened yet. You will always act about being goofy and not wanting to study anymore, but after that you’ll only be inspired to do things that are left undone. You’ve caught my attention since the day one, because of the saying;
“If someone is into you he should be a little nervous, might stumble on his words, might avoid staring into your eyes. You have that effect on someone.”
Everything about the quotation reminds me of how you’ll act around me, and at the time I knew we’ll wait no matter what will be the circumstance is. Little did I know those sweet gestures may turn into memories that once tied our little pinkies. They said that waiting will always be worth it, but I guess not in my case. You’ve got tired of waiting, and the reason up to date is still unknown. I never blame you in any case, and many may think that it is because I’m thinking you deserved better because you’re one of the best. No, I never had that mindset, because we all deserve the best. It is true you deserve the best, and I am my best in my own ways, but not that kind of best that fits your end game.
I guess it is true that a first love without commitment at all is the hardest to forget, and I must admit that I still think about you at times. The way you motivated me and changed me into a better person. Those random bible verses you’ll always send me to get me through dark days, or any other unmotivated days. You were my ideal that became my dream guy, the type that is unable to reach. Still, I pray for your well being and happiness because I met a lot of amazing people after losing almost a half of me. You were my almost significant other, and I don’t regret that story in my life but I think moving on is the greatest choice as of this moment.
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I still tell them stories about how wonderful of a person you are, but I guess I waited long enough to cut the ties that lingers upon my pinky. After all, you’ve found yours where you can tie each other’s red string freely. Waiting is always part of moving on. It is the longest progress of contemplation, but definitely worth of results. One day you’ll wake up and say, “no more of waiting,” because finally you found the real happiness in yourself alone. Apart from the happiness that others gives you, you have yourself that waited too long to accept each flaws and imperfection. You have yourself to tell you you’re doing great and definitely at your best. Satisfying isn’t it? Waiting is not a stand alone process, it always equates to the other results; moved on, been found, or achieved.
Until then, my almost significant other. I will not forget on how you molded me into a better person I am right now. After all this time, it’s not a lost and I actually gained my self trust above others. Thank you for being one of the best, and teaching me the art of patience.
“In overflowing anger for a moment I hid My face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer.”
– Isaiah 54:8