To the woman I really like

To the woman I really like,

I know you are doing great.

I’m writing this, first, because I want to appreciate you.

Thank you for the words of affirmation that encourage me… for the acts of kindness and thoughtfulness… for being supportive and helpful in my leadership… for reminding me that there’s hope and making me smile…. for being a good friend… for accepting me, my past and my struggles without judgment and condemnation… for not fixing me as you walk with me in my healing journey… for making me feel that I’m special to you… for being you, a good gift to me.

Second, I want you to know that I already love you.

Yes, you read it right. I LOVE YOU. But I didn’t pursue you because I want to learn to love myself more. I want to find first the deepest joy that I can have with God. I know I can give all my best to you and love you. But it will be unfair to me if I will love you more than myself.

I want to take care of myself more. I respect my healing season, as well as yours. When I pursue you, I want that you and I have significant healing individually from our deepest wounds of the past. Because if not, we might end up hurting one another deeply.

Third, I’m letting you go to free myself.

I hope you made the right decision by saying “yes” to your new boyfriend. My heart breaks. I assumed too much that you like me too. I’m wrong but it’s fine. Because in the beginning, I already knew that I needed to take the risk of the possibility of being hurt when I chose to love you. But still, in spite of it, I will continue to love because it always feels good to love.

And lastly, I bless you.

The man who truly loves you,

Sean