Dear you,

Dear you,

The first love. When I saw you, I felt nothing, when I met you, I felt a tingle, when we bonded, I felt everything. I have always had feelings for you, and I probably always will. I saw myself in you, we had so much in common. We were a perfect match, everybody thought so, I thought so too but I doubt that you did. When you decided to leave and stop suddenly, so did my world.

Hurt, I couldn’t move on from you, kahit di naman naging tayo. I kept hanging on to the hope that you will see me again but, what I didn’t realize was, you never saw me in the first place.

Hope, but still I kept hoping, hoping the spark would return, but even you can’t stop a burning flame from burning when it runs out.

Anger, you made me look stupid, you kept leading me on, I thought we were okay, but we never were. You could’ve told me that you found someone else, so I could stop myself from falling for you deeper, pero hinayaan mo lang.

Acceptance, it wasn’t all your fault, we were young, we were learning you and I. We’re just humans, I’m not perfect either. There was never an “us” and maybe there will never be but, i’m thankful because there was a “something” and that’s enough for me.

Thankful, i’ll forever be grateful for you, your talent, your humour and your presence. You made me happy, you made me feel alive and dead at the same time, and that’s when I realised, I was living. I am alive. And I am in control of my life and I’m letting you go.

Dear you,

The wrong love. The most unexpected person to ever be connected to me. You caught me at my most vulnerable moment. The point in my life where I didn’t know what I want, where I was only figuring myself out. You knew how to capture, how to choose and how to move BUT, you need to learn how to keep. Everybody was against us, against you in particular. I wondered … why? But you showed me why. I ignored the signs but, you kept nailing them down.

Wild and wonderous, you exposed parts of me that I didn’t know I had. You made me into a whole new human being. You pushed me out of my comfort zone. You made me Live. You awoke the spark in me that I hid for so long. You gave me the opportunity to explore the wild. I fell for you … but I soon realised I fell for your words because, as soon as they stopped matching your actions, I then stopped feeling for you.

Lesson, thank you for being the instrument God used in order for me to know what I shouldn’t be looking for in a partner. You made me realise that, wild and wonderous is amazing but it must be come WITH and most importantly respect. Respect for yourself. You should never compromise your worth with anybody else and if your feelings were genuine, I wouldn’t have doubted it in the first place.

Rooting for you, I am rooting for you. I hope you will find “the one” who will be willing to tolerate you, brave enough to handle situations with you and be madly in love with you to stick around through thick and thin. You made me live and now I can live on my own. I didn’t want to let you go, but I had to.

Dear you, the regrets (to both of you)

I’m sorry, i’m sorry that I never saw your worth and I never saw how well you could have treated me. I never saw how committed you were going to be. I never considered giving you a chance. You were so special to me that, I couldn’t give you a chance, too scared to ever lose the friendship if we ever didn’t work out … but we lost it anyway.

I admit, I used you. I used you to move on, but please believe me it was unintentional. I try my best no to hurt, but I did.

If I had a chance to turn back time, in full honesty, I still would have turned my back. Why? Because if I didn’t, you wouldn’t have met the love of your life now, and as a person who truly cares for you, I want you to be happy, even if it means you get deeply hurt in the beginning.

Sorry I never saw you, thanks for letting me go.