Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
I chose to cry, to breakdown, and to accept the fact that it is over.
I chose myself and decide not to talk to you.
I thought I was supposed to be mature and to handle the situation like an adult and started to stay civil
I stopped and realised I still like you…
I took a step back– cried and begged you to give it another chance and went back to step three.
When you told me it’s really over I had no choice but to take another step forward
Fourth step and a half
I created a new life hoping it would help me get over you
I gave myself a chance to meet other people, to put myself out there and explore
I got my heart broken… again but I just brushed if off and moved on as it didn’t hurt like it did with you
I tried to focus on myself, took this step towards my longtime goal. This time I tried to always choose myself.
While I was in the process on achieving my goals, I stumble whenever I felt confused.
You were usually there for me, to help me, but this time it’s different… because I have to learn to live life without you.
I felt lonely.
I cried and I lost sleep thinking about you.
About how happy you are without me while I still feel miserable and broken.
I took another step back.
I tried to find out if you are still there for me but it doesn’t feel the same because you’ve already replaced me.
Then I took another step forward
Ninth step and a half
I prayed to God to let me understand that there is a reason why this happened to me. That I should understand there is someone else for me. Even if I want to take another step back, I stayed at nine.
I was happy to accomplish a lot of things in my “new” life, but I realised that this is a life without you. I end up asking if I really am happy — but even if I don’t know yet, I stayed at ten.
I chose to keep moving forward.
Even if it hurts more than ever…
I still tried to take even a single baby step, just so I can move farther from you.
I counted my blessings.
I knew I was always blessed with people who love me unconditionally. I was blessed with a life, a lot of people can only dream and can only hope for.
I am thankful and I am grateful, every day.
But God knows that it is okay not to be okay, that it is okay to breakdown, and to take a step back…
Even if it takes you back to step one.