Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.

From the very start, I felt the beat of my heart. It was a familiar feeling that I have not felt for a long time. Then I kept on asking myself, “Am I in love?, ” or is this just another infatuation that would eventually be gone? You were kind to me. Opening up to me. Making me feel needed. I was captivated. At first I was in denial, because I don’t want another relationship on trial. I kept on refusing the fact that I am in love. It was only a short period of time and I know that it is not enough to make you mine. It was too fast, so maybe this is not love. I had many doubts. Maybe, in the long run, all of this will pass. But why do I always have you in my mind? It is a question with an answer that’s too hard to find. No matter how hard I try, the thought of you doesn’t go away. Why do you have to stay? I don’t want to go astray.

I’ve made up my mind. I have to admit, this feeling is hard to resist. It was all clear. I have nothing to fear. But suddenly everything changed. This is driving me insane. I felt that something was wrong. What have I done wrong? Why do I cry not knowing the reason why? Why did you disappear, now that my heart is clear? Why do I convince myself to move on, knowing that this feeling is too strong?

But when I think about it, you never really said that you love me. It was too foolish of me to expect that the clarity of what I feel could turn my love story into reality. Now that my feelings for you are certain, it won’t matter anyway. This is not a game that we should play. Everything between you and me started abruptly, but now it’s too difficult for me to let it go so easily.

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